We recently asked a previous customer to talk us through the process of using our service from her point of view. We did this because it’s sometimes hard for us to truly understand what someone is going through when they consider using our service to locate a long lost relatives

Here at FinderMonkey we know that we can help people and sometimes it’s hard to understand when a potential customer says no when we offer to help. This case study really shows the other side of the process and we’ve immediately passed it round the office so we can better understand all our customer’s needs. Have a read of the lovely story about the power of our service but mainly to see that there are other people that have been in your exact position looking for a lost relative…

This is a real story from a real customer, as you will read, she wants to remain nameless and we were happy to protect her. Dave Oates is our head researcher and he sent her an email after we had concluded her search to say thank you for using our service. This is her reply and also Daves notes on what she said. We hope you enjoy reading this as its something we think could really help you. Here is what the customer had to say…

“I am sorry not have responded before but it’s been hectic not only finding Carol but I have been very busy at work. I would like it if my name and my mothers was not used in your case study I am happy to give you information to help. I found FinderMonkey online late one night when I was thinking about my birth Mother. It was a spur of the moment thing when I filled out the online search form with FinderMonkey and it took all little chasing from them for me to finally decide to do this. I was reluctant as I was unsure what to expect and if I would experience rejection.

I felt that all my life I was an outsider and I had very little in common with my adoptive family and I did not want to end up with relatives who were worse. The other reason I went ahead with the search was that I did started searching about 30 years ago and on and off over the years but came up with nothing and this for me was about finding that missing piece and completing my story.”

Dave – From this I think it’s easy to see that once someone starts to think about a lost relative they will never stop, the truth is when it’s someone you know about but have never met, like a birth parent, and it’s natural that you would always think about them.

“When I found out that you had found my aunt, I was excited that someone had been found but I was worried that I had left it too late and my mother had passed away and that’s why she had not been found. When the letter went out I experienced a very unsettling emotional time, I have always been a calm person but I became very frightened and my emotions were up and down.”

Dave – This is common for us to hear that the experience can be a real roller-coaster, as a consequence we provide weekly updates to all customers at every step of the way. We have also started a private Facebook group so customers can support and help each other on there, this works really well as they are going through very similar experiences.

“I took out books from the library about adoption and reunion and found them useful and helpful, looking at the reunion stories from all perspectives helped. It gave me a good insight into why I had behaved a certain way with my adoptive mother and that feeling of isolation were common in adopted people. I came across an online piece where the writer stated that being adopted is like being part of a contract that you have not agreed to and had no involvement in agreeing the terms of conditions. This for me was just exactly how I had felt and I constantly tried to be the perfect child. I would recommend reading as much as you can to prepare yourself as the emotions can be pretty intense and I was not expecting that”

Dave – This is really insightful and something that we’ve really took on board. Although we provided exactly what our customer wanted we felt we could improve this part of the process so we now send out emails with reading lists and help and advice to make sure that this part of the process is as easy to deal with as possible.

“During the wait for a response I was up and down but as the weeks went on I calmed down which I think helped, When Jade called I just cried with relief that I was wanted and that Mum was also looking for me and had never forgotten me. When I spoke with Mum on the phone we both cried but right from the start we clicked and we are so alike. We seemed to have lived parallel lives, even the same career choices”

Dave – This is the power of what we do, this is why we do it. We know that we can make a huge difference to people’s lives and that is a very proud feeling.

“Through the whole process FinderMonkey have been great. I searched for years without any progress and it took just a month to find my relatives. Initially I was reluctant and unsure as it’s emotional and scary to face your past but I am so glad I did. I have been recommending FinderMonkey to everyone who has asked me about my story.Thanks for everything”

Dave – It’s great that this customer is recommending us but all I would want anyone to take from this story is that questions do get answered. They might be your own questions and you might not find the answers easy to deal with. The whole process might be an emotional time (we know that it is and it can be for us too) but if you are serious about doing this then we are the people that you should trust to do it.  We’re really starting to understand the power of what we do and the responsibility that comes with it so our guides and handbooks as well as our emails and services are all now designed to support the customer as well as obtain the information they are looking for.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this particular blog post and that it has given you an insight into the work we do at FinderMonkey. If you would like a preliminary chat with one of our team, give us a call on 0113 282 5900. We’d love to hear from you and we can talk you through how we can help. If we have helped you and you would like to tell your story then please email us and we’ll send you our questionnaire. For more information about finding lost relatives visit our page here.